A while back, I started some short articles about proper comic book store etiquette on another blog I work on. The previous installments focused on trying to avoid creepiness, the importance of helping the customer, and why saying 'Hi' is a great way to start your comic shop experience. Since I’ve been focusing more time over here at Trustyhenchmen, I’ve decided to continue the series over here for the time being. This week’s focus: at exactly what point is it ok to kill the customer?

Retailers

Generally the less people you kill the better, simply because repeat business is important. You have to be willing to take a lot of flack and just suck it up, not only because you should maintain composure through adversity but also because apparently it’s illegal to just maul people at the drop of a hat. That being said here’s some stuff that while annoying, you should still restrain yourself from ripping off the offender’s arms:

-Dropping a crapload of change on the counter and shoving it at you expecting you to count it for them. It’s fine if they are under the age of 14. The 35 years old? Not so much.

-Customers unable to figure out the alphabet, or any type of obvious filing system.

-Customers unable to open the door when the store is open or are unable to realize the store is closed and locked yet still feel the need to attack the door. BIG SIGN SAYS CLOSED. If you can't read the sign directly in front of you, why are you attempting to enter a store that sells reading material?

-Customers that don’t come in to buy comics but come in to tell you their life story.

There are more, but you get the gist. Minor transgressions you basically have to just absorb the stupidity and find a way to decompress later. Alcohol is always suggested. Then there are the unforgivable acts that are basically a green light for unbelievably fun brutality:

-Entering the store yelling at the clerks or customers

-Starting a fight of any type

-Shoplifting, because you are officially the scum of the Earth when you steal from a comic shop.

-Non-stop complaining that there is no adult/porn section, to the point of complaining about it online. It’s not even the complaint itself as much as it is the non-stop whining and spectacle we get sometimes.

And so on. Usually, we can be pretty easy going guys. It’s retail, we’re used to stupid shenanigans. The trick is, keep in mind since we usually don’t serve some sort of corporate power that believes the customer is always right, we have limits and usually we have blunt heavy objects lying around the store.

Customers

Now all of that being said, you guys really shouldn’t have to put up with any rude crap yourselves. As long as you are reasonably polite and aware of yourself, it should be safe to assume you deserve a certain amount of respect. You are a valued customer, and you should be treated as a valued customer. The best way to insure this is to make an earnest attempt at just being nice to the clerks. Don’t go too far, don’t try to be buddy buddy right off the bat. Just be nice, and hey if the clerks aren’t douchebags you’ll develop a rapport down the road. Things you should not tolerate include:

-Being ignored. Now, don’t mistake being ignored with just poor awareness. Sometimes you just need to cough or say ‘Hi, I think I’m ready to be rung up’. But if you’re just being straight up ignored then that’s rude. Unless you’re a person who’s just talking and talking while the clerk is trying to work, then you just need to shut up.

-Clerk actually telling you your taste sucks or the book you like sucks. If they say ‘That book isn’t my cup of tea’, then they handled it right. If they just saw what you were buying and said ‘Wow, that’s a steaming pile of crap, why would you buy it?’, then that’s pretty rude.

-Harassing women. Don’t put up with any of that shit.

-NO ONE SHOULD EVER BE PLAYING A COMPUTER GAME ON THE JOB. EVER.

Y’know, the obvious stuff where it takes one asshole at a comic shop to create a stereotype that instantly gets applied to the rest of us. Just remember if you take a swing at these guys, they might have a heavy blunt weapon behind the counter.

On both sides, it’s always tricky for people to comprehend when they are being a douche. Ideally, if you take a moment and take a deep breath and just close your eyes, you can figure out if what you have done or will do is douchy. Then hopefully you’ll think ‘Wow, that’s a real douchebag move, I shouldn’t do that." Although if you are a douchebag, then you probably won’t think that and you tend to think you’re always in the right. In that case, screw off doucehbag.